Famously handsome, brilliant and cunning, Count Dracula spent his undead years tormenting others. But as the centuries dragged on and all he knew were miserable, the Count got bored. He tried therapy, acupuncture, veganism, hypnotism, anger management, fasting and improvisation. Nothing worked. One day he was struck by the beauty of a child and realized fatherhood was it. He furiously bit a little boy and thus was born Count Drac, whom his daddy cherished for all eternity.